I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
