We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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