I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
