Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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