I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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