We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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