Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
