I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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