hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
