He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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