my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
