haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
