Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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