we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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