so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
