this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
