Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize