so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize