i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
