No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm both gender and math confused
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
