I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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