bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
