Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
