Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
