Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
