Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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