Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
why is half of my head shaved?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
