butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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