I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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