Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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