Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
