All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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