I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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