i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
did i just pee glitter
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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