I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
