So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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