why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
