she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize