Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
