Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
