She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
