But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
