So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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