I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
