Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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