So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
