I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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