apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
