"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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