By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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