This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
