went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
