I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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