Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
