i don't like sucking hair
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
