Your face is a jimmy john
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
