everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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