You're my little dorito
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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