i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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