the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize