gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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