Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize