Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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