Do you still have your period?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize