why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
